Breakfast

I love actually going out and doing things. Especially after 7 hours of laundry the night before. Mmhmm!

I'm starting to think that cheesecake stuffed french toast was a bad choice. I can't handle a lot of sweetness in the morning. I have more than enough in my coffee. But french toast, waffles, and pancakes always get me excited. It cannot be helped.


I find myself in a pretty good spot right now. I've had my doubts. But can anyone blame me for wanting to be cautious? I don't possess the greatest of track records, after all.

We started off being really affectionate and close very early on. It's not often that people are that comfortable around each other from the get go. But, I've been told many of times that I have a knack for making people feel that way around me. I guess I'm just really chill, right? Haha. Bleh. I suppose it just goes back to the whole "love being in love" feelings I have. If I connect with someone and feel that I want to really give them a chance, I just tend to let things happen without guarding myself. I suppose that could end very badly. And it has more than once. But sometimes, seldom really, someone really makes a mark. And I can tell pretty early on that they are going to impact me in a positive way. Does that mean marriage and kids down the road? Not necessarily. But I believe every person one encounters is meant to make an impact. Relationships, no matter the length, help one learn about themselves and will eventually benefit him/her in one way or another.

Even relationships that go horribly wrong. As much as it can hurt, as horrible as you may feel, surely it was worth it if you truly cared for the other person. At the end of my life, I want to be able to look back on good memories. There will be no point focusing in on the bad at 80 years old, now is there? No, you block that out. You remember the walks, the conversations, the heart to hearts, the sharing your life with others. This holds true with all relationships, be them romantic or platonic friendships.

I have had more experience with relationships than I probably should have at the age of 20. It's no secret that I moved out at 17 to live with a boy. We were engaged a month shy of my 18th birthday. HA. Engaged? Can you believe it? Sometimes, I can't even believe it, and I lived it. And I was never one of those stupid, "we've been dating for a month and I already love him," sort of girls. I'm still not. Which is why I hate discussing the topic with people. They automatically assume that I'm extremely immature and don't have the ability to think things through. I promise you, this is not the case. I've never taken back saying I love you to anyone. I hold a great deal of compassion and if I love you, you'll know. I'll make sure of it. I'm so sick of people censoring their feelings because they don't want to seem fickle. People don't want to say "I love you" for the mere fact that most believe it loses its meaning if it's thrown around. How is that? If you love someone, you don't hide that! Who cares what anyone else thinks? I read a study awhile back and within it I found some statistics on "love." It went on to say that the average person falls in love an average of three times in high school alone. Now, I'm sure you're thinking, that's useless information. What do kids know about love?

You don't have to feel strongly enough to want to marry the person you are with to love them. Think about it this way. Your friends, you love them, right? You care about them more than anything, right? They always come first, right? (After God, family, yadda, yadda...) Your significant other should be one of your best friends, if not best after spending enough time with him/her. You may never fall 'in love' with them. But how can you continue dating someone that you do not love? You can't! Unless you're heartless, or just don't care. It's something that develops as you spend more and more time with someone of interest.

I'm not trying to say that I am already to this point. I really care about my someone as of now. But again, I'm really not one to jump the gun. If I feel it, it'll be known. If it lasts to that level, wonderful. There's nothing greater than sharing that with someone.

I never enter into an official relationship unless I am convinced that there is something worth working toward. If I don't feel a connection early on, scrap it. But I also have to have some assurance that the other partner is serious. It's pointless to enter a relationship if you only expect it to last for a few weeks or a couple of months. It's something I refuse to do. Why waste your time on something casual when there is potential for so much more out there?

You told me you wanted to be the one to woo me.
You said you wanted to be the one to sweep me off my feet.
These were your words. Don't forget that.
You have that opportunity.

For some reason, I feel that you are a very trustworthy person. And you have the ability to make me feel safe. I cannot seem to be able to stay frustrated by you for very long. You were a gentleman towards me from the very get go and I believe it is something you truly strive for.


I love being around him. I love his adorable Molly Mei and June Bug(who snores just like him). I love listening to him sing to me. I love his smile. I love kissing his face all over. I love being close to him. I love that he actually wants to spend time with me. I love spending every night in his arms. And one of the greatest things of all, I love how he makes me feel. If that were missing, what would be the point? You should always find a way to uplift others. Though we tend to lose sight of that at times, there is no excuse for it in a relationship. You shouldn't even have to say anything. People should know how you feel by your actions alone.

Some people tell me I expect too much out of people. I disagree. I know what I want out of a relationship. I'm picky because I need to be. Why settle for being content when you could be happy?

I tend to have a lot going on with me at times, but he does make me happy. Yes, YOU SIR, make me happy. And that's enough for me to think it's worth it.


Getting over the past can be difficult. But let the record show, Justin doesn't phase me. It's done and over with. It was done and over with long before it even ended. So never let it bother you. And if it does, don't hesitate to talk to me about it. I'm an open book. Anything you want to know or discuss, just ask.




Mmmm...I've been listening to a lot of Neva Dinova.
Totally off topic. But deal.
I loveee it.


Anywho, I'm feeling really full and sleepy. I'm going to nap for a bit and then continue on with my day.


love.love.