Surprise, Surprise

I'm still alive.

I guess.

Naughty Bits

I date personalities, and minds, and thoughts, and connections.

not genitals.

I couldn't care less about your naughty bits.

Lapse

It's funny how many times I've found myself stumbling back across my own blog after a lapse in posting only find that everything has gone topsy-turvy.

I feel my heart aching at just glimpsing over my last couple of entries. Because of this, I'm just going to try to leave it in the past for now and ignore the desire to flood this page with pent up emotions and thoughts in regard to all that has changed.


Instead, I will follow the lead of a close friend.



GREATFUL FOR:

Lover/Best Friend/Confidant
Select few worthwhile Friends and being able to recognize who they are
Financial Stability
Responsibility
Promising future by MY standards


fin.

Home

I've been back in the city for just under two weeks now. I cannot even begin to describe how happy it makes me. I'm finally doing something that makes me happy again.

It's wonderful to be near Laiah again, but it's so much more than that. I'm making myself happy again. I'm where I want to be surround by people that I actually want to be around. As soon as the initial stress from the move wears off, I'll be perfect :)

I do miss my family though. It's hard to believe that. In the past I went an entire six months without one visit. Now I'm back to calling my mother every day. It's scary being on my own again knowing that my parents aren't within shouting distance. I think I'm finally off on my own for good. It's a great feeling to be self sufficient, but it hurts at the same time. Ahhh...separation anxiety isn't treating me oh so well.

Moi

You have a certain innocence about you.You want the simple things in life. You love hugs,kisses, and being in the arms of the person you love. You want to feel protected,loved, and adored. You like your lover to initiate the first move and on some occasions you like a little aggressiveness but for the most part you need physical affection in order to maintain happy relationship.

Roommate Blues

They're so long over.
I'm set :)


Now moving back to Chicago feels real again. I am so incredibly excited! I cannot wait to get everything settled and squared away.



WOOOOOHOOOO.

Cold

Summer might as well be over around these parts.
Wonderful.


And eff this birthday.
I no longer seem to really care.
How sad is that? I still have three weeks and I'm already totally over my 21st.

Seeing Laiah is really the only upside. At least, the only noteworthy part of the trip.

I'm just tired of all the bullshit. I'm so over having all my plans revolve around other people and their stupid, unjust feelings. I'm sick of always having to take the hard way around everything. I just want a break. I desire for just one thing to go my way for once.

Why am I always so up and down?
I am so sick of being misunderstood. I mean, seriously...my own girlfriend doesn't even know me. And she's the closest person I have to me.

It'd be nice to have stability in more than just Kevin and I's friendship. But no. That's it. That is my only stability. And on a good week I'm able to see him for a full day.


Nights like this make me question why anything matters. I mean, really, what's the point?